The Ultimate Guide to 21st-Century Dating

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First published in 2007 by Fusion Press, a division of Satin Publications Ltd 101 Southwark Street London SE1 0JF UK [email protected] www.visionpaperbacks.co.uk Publisher: Sheena Dewan © Carol Dix 2007 All quizzes © Dr Victoria Lukats The Language of Online or Text Dating © AOL UK The right of Carol Dix to be identified as the author of the work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988. All statistics and figures used within this book were valid at the time of going to press but can change rapidly in the online world. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the publisher. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN: 978-1-905745-11-1 2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1 Cover and text design by ok?design Printed and bound in the UK by Mackays of Chatham Ltd, Chatham, Kent

Contents Acknowledgements

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Introduction

1

Chapter 1: What Sort of Dating Type are You?

9

Chapter 2: Prepare Yourself for Dating

45

Chapter 3: Is it Time to Give Online Dating a Try?

89

Chapter 4: Other Ways of Dating: Beyond the Internet (or Offline)

135

Chapter 5: Getting to the First Date

177

Chapter 6: Moving On Beyond the First Date

211

Chapter 7: The Business of Love

237

Conclusion

251

Resources

253

Appendix

25 7

About the Author

261

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Acknowledgements I would like to express my thanks to the people at Parship.co.uk for their enthusiastic help and support while I was writing this book, and especially to Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and Parship’s relationship and dating expert, for giving me permission to use her quizzes. They are fun to work with and take their match-making seriously. Similarly, thanks to the Guardian Soulmates team for helping put me in touch with members who were happy to tell their stories. The Writers Guild and writers association ‘26’ (www.26.org.uk) were kind enough to contact members with a request to be part of this book. And Mary Balfour of Drawing Down the Moon introduction agency was also gracious with her support. The Appendix is adapted slightly from material available online from AOL. Most importantly, my thanks go to all those women and men who have shared their secrets with me, talked willingly about the ups and downs of dating, and with whom I’ve enjoyed many a long hour over a pizza and glass of wine. I could not have written the book without their involvement. They have all been given fictional names to protect their identities. Thanks to Louise Coe at Fusion Press for being understanding and helpful during the writing process, and to Vanessa Holt,

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The Ultimate Guide to 21st-Century Dating my agent, with whom I worked many years ago on other books that have charted the course of my own life – from pregnancy, to motherhood, to women’s careers, and now to a look at the amazing changing world of relationships and dating. As a journalist, and author of many books, I have found writing this to be one of the best challenges. The world around us changes so fast, as does the way we lead our lives, so that sometimes it feels impossible to keep up. My family and friends across the world have had to listen to me talking, or sharing emails, about the project for many long months. So thanks to them too for their loving support.

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Introduction You’re going to an interview for a new